Fucked Up The Second Day, wtf Is Wrong With Me?

I fucked up the second day of ABC...

I had my allowed 500 cals, then decided to eat;

blueberries 80 cals

cheese 120 cals

garden wrap 175

total: 375

Since tomorrow was only supposed to be a 300 cal day, I'm going to make up for it by fasting for tomorrow and Thursday and then on Friday resume at 100 cals

5: 100 calories
6: 200 calories
7: 300 calories
8: 400 calories
9: 500 calories
10: fast
11: 150 calories
12: 200 calories
13: 400 calories
14: 350 calories
15: 250 calories
16: 200 calories
17: fast
18: 200 calories
19: 100 calories
20: fast
21: 300 calories
22: 250 calories
23: 200 calories
24: 150 calories
25: 100 calories
26: 50 calories
27: 100 calories
28: 200 calories
29: 200 calories
30: 300 calories
31: 800
32: fast
33: 250 calories
34: 350 calories
35: 450 calories
36: fast
37: 500 calories
38: 450 calories
39: 400 calories
40: 350 calories
41: 300 calories
42: 250 calories
43: 200 calories
44: 200 calories
45: 250 calories
46: 200 calories
47: 300 calories
48: 200 calories
49: 150 calories
50: fast

Fasting Wednesday and Thursday, I'm sick and tired of being a fat fucking failure. Why don't I have any will power to do this? I hate myself enough... I hate myself so much for failing, for being fat and ugly and stupid and fat.