Failed

So, of course, I had to fail on the first day of my fast and it was completely my fucking fault, no one coerced me into eating, I ate of my own free will.

I still have to drill it into my head that food is the enemy apparently.

So what I ate, well, my boyfriend and his roommate obviously wanted to go to Wendy's for lunch just because they were hungry and wanted fast food. The decision rested with me and my lack of will power said "Okay, let's go."

I ordered a small chili, which is 190 calories.

I also had around 5 fries, that's maybe around 50 cals?

Later that evening my boyfriend bought me a muffin, 440 cals.

Daily total --> 680

Tommorow I shall not eat at all. Even if it means I have to crawl into my bed and lay there for all hours of the day, I have a new incentive to lose weight.

Okay, so my god mother wants me to go visit her in Montreal before taking off to Greece and go shopping for new clothes for Greece which would be fucking epic! Problem is, I need to lose the weight so my god mother doesn't think I'm a fucking fat ass. If I go visit her at the end of

April, that gives me February, March and two weeks of April to lose 40lbs. It's going to be hard, require a lot of fasting and actually going to the gym again... I can do it, I must do it, I can never be happy if I don't manage to do this!!!

So, fast tomorrow. Friday fasting might be difficult since my family is visiting and they will probably take me out to a restuarant, just don't eat that much and fast Saturday, Sunday and every. fucking. day. after that, I should be good. I can't wait to lose this weight!